When someone does not act according to our expectations, our mind goes into a frenzy. We stop being our natural self and we start loosing control over our thoughts.
Instead of thinking why someone is acting in that way, we start thinking of ways in which we can take revenge. Even if we may not speak out in the first instance, we keep holding grudge against the said individual. We keep thinking of what to say or what to do to inflict maximum pain to the other person. We even think of other’s response and our rebuttals of it. We leave no option of reconciliation and are ready to burn all bridges. At the next instance when we feel that it is the right moment to attack someone, we go all out to destroy the other person. Our anger is like the lava of an active volcano that erupts at slightest movement of tectonic plates and brings to surface our hatred and dissatisfaction with the other person.

What to do when someone acts in a way that is against our expectations?
When someone acts in a way that is against our expectations, we need to stay calm and analyze that why did he act in that particular way? What triggered him to act in such a way? It might be due to his ignorance or he might have acted with the intention of causing distress to you in some way.

The subtle art of communication

Try to communicate your views with the other person and do not reach to a conclusion based on your own assumptions. Communication here does not mean verbal communication only. Our body language and our actions communicate our views even before we open our mouth. Sometimes, by behaving as if nothing has happened we check our and other’s emotions from spilling over. This requires an understanding that if we feel that we have been wronged, god will take care of the situation and we need not be anxious for it.

Communication may bring to light what is exactly troubling the other person.

If the other person continues to act in a way that causes distress to us, even after we have communicated our point of view, we need to discuss the situation with our guru.

It might be our dependence on the other person that leads to such situations. A true guru teaches us to be self reliant and self sufficient in every way so that we are atmanirbhar (self reliant). To be self reliant we need to change ourselves and venture beyond our comfort zone.

We need to understand that there will be moments in our lives that are beyond our imagination. People may act contrary to our expectations. We may never be able to find the reason behind it. This might seem counterintuitive, but finding the reason for someone’s behavior towards us does not matter beyond a point. How we accept it and respond to it is more important. All the conditions for a flight like weather conditions, wind speed and direction, temperature etc. are out of control of a seagull. The only thing in control of a seagull is it’s response to sudden changes in the factors influencing it’s flight. It has to focus on itself and leave behind everything to fly high. Similarly, a true guru teaches us to go within and be unattached, unconcerned and unaffected.

A true guru helps us think beyond meager food and sheer survival in this world. He helps us realize our deeper sense of purpose. The journey of self realization might be a challenging one as we may be labelled as an 'outcast' for non conformity with the social norms and beliefs, but as we progress on this path through guru’s love and guidance, we feel the power of true freedom. Freedom from all anxieties and worries of temporal things. We are overwhelmed to share this knowledge with everyone around us. We stop looking at anyone as ignorant as we realize that earlier we were in the same category. A true guru’s selfless love and untiring efforts transforms us from limited beings to limitless individuals proud of our existence.